#8

Joke:

There was this couple and they were getting on up in age.  Marge and Joe were both wondering about the afterlife, and if there even was one.  So they made a pack, whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other one what was on the other side.

Joe died first. 

One night while Marge was watching TV she thought she heard someone talking to her.  Sure enough it was Joe.

"What are you doing in the afterlife?"

"Well, I wake up in the morning, have sex then eat breakfast.  After breakfast I have sex, go for a swim, have sex, and then I have lunch.  After lunch I pretty much have sex, sun bathe, have sex, sun bathe, until nightime.  Then I when I wake up the next day it is the same thing all over again.  Sex, eat, swim, sun myself."

"Sounds like you are in heaven!"

"Well, not exactly.  I am a rabbit somewhere in Idaho."

 

#7

Medicine costs a fortune now days.  If you are are one of the millions that has no insurance that will cover the cost of perscriptions here is a place that might can help.  Needymeds helps you locate which manufacturer makes the drug and show you how to contact them for their free programs.  Some companies also have a discount card program.  This is a site worth visiting.  Some sites charge you to fill out the paperwork.  That is just crazy.  You can do it yourself, all you need is the right addresses or telephone numbers.  Even if you don't think you fall within the income range it still doesn't hurt to try.  You never know!

fun web sites

pumpkins

day you were born on

bunnies

stupid

cats

lap dance

horses  hint: be sure to click on the faces

games 

 

#5

Dreams are... illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.

          Marsha Norman

 

The butterfly counts not months but moment, and has time enough.

          Rabindranath Tagore

 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you've imagined.

          Thoreau

 

God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.

          JM Barrie

 

 

#4

How important does a perosn have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts?  Where's that extra penny going?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that people say the "slept like a baby" wehn babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

#3

Farmer Joe is suing a trucking company for injuries he sustained in an accident.  The company's lawyer, Mr Green, questions Farmer Joe in court.

Didn't you say, I'm fine, at the accident scene? Mr. Green asks.

I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessy, says Farmer Joe.

I'm not asking for details, Mr Green sayd.  Just answer the question.

I am, Farmer Joe says.  I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessy into the trailer when...

Didn't you tell the state trooper that you were fine?  Mr Green interrupts.

The judge stops Mr green's questioning and tells him to let Farmer Joe tell his story the way he wants to.

So, anyway, says Farmer Joe.  I loaded Bessy in the trailer and started driving down the highway when a hugh semi-truck ran a stop sign and smacked into the right side of my truck.  

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessy  was tossed into another.  I could hear her cries for help but I was too hurt to move, Farmer Joe says. 

Then a state trooper came by and I heard him talking about Bessy.  He said she was a complete loss.  Then I heard a gun go off and Bessy stopped moaning, Farmer Joe says. 

What does this story have to do with anything? Mr Green asks.

The state trooper walked over to me and said, "Your cow was in bad shape so I shot her between the eyes.  How are you doing?"

# 2

I will be the gladdest thing under the sun!  I will touch a hundered flowers and not pick one.

          Edna St Vincent Millay

 

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

 

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.  What is essential is invisible to the eye.

          Saint Exuprey

 

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed.

          Booker T Washington

 

 

#1

Nothing purchased can come close to the renewed sense of gratitude for having family and friends.

          Courtland Milloy

                     

With God all things are possible 

          Mark 10:27

 

Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.

          Theodore Roosevelt

 

 The earth laughs in flowers.

          Emerson

welcome

Welcome to my new journal.  This journal is going to be for postitive things.  Stories, quotes, songs, ideas, and so on.  Just something to lift you up.  I hope that in making this journal it will help not only me to look at life a little better, but maybe the same for anyone that comes to read it.